【一】
The Best Thing That Could Ever Happen
棒的事
Three old men were sitting around and talking.
三個老頭坐在一起聊天。
The 80-year-old remarked， “The best thing that could happen to me would just to be able to have a good pee.”
八十歲的老頭說：“對我來說棒的事，就是可以好好小個便�！�
“I stand there for 20 minutes， and it dribbles and hurts. I have to go over and over again.”
“我現(xiàn)在都要站個二十分鐘一滴一滴地小便，而且還會痛，得一直跑廁所才行�！�
The 85-year-old remarked， “The best thing that could happen to me is if I could have one good bowel movement.”
八十五歲的老頭說：“對我來說棒的事，就是可以好好大個便�！�
I take every kind of laxative I can get my hands on and it‘s still a problem.“
“各種可以弄到的瀉藥我都試過了，還是沒什么用。”
Then the 90-year-old remarked， “That’s not my problem. Every morning at 6 a.m. sharp， I have a good long pee.”
九十歲的老頭說：“我都沒有這些問題。每天早上六點(diǎn)整，我都會舒服而盡情地小便�！�
“At 6：30 a.m. sharp， I have a great bowel movement. The best thing that could happen to me would be if I could wake up before 7 a.m.”
“六點(diǎn)半一到，就會舒服地大便。對我來說棒的事，就是我能不能在早上七點(diǎn)前醒來�！�
【二】
Good Fortune， Bad Fortune
好運(yùn)和霉運(yùn)
A frog goes to have his fortune told.
有只青蛙跑去算命。
The fortuneteller looks at his little webbed palm and says， “Aha！ You‘re about to meet a beautiful young lady who is going to want to know everything about you.”
算命師看著他小小的有蹼手掌說道：“啊哈！你即將遇見一名美麗小姑娘，她想了解關(guān)于你的一切�！�
The frog says， “Thanks！ I’m going to run right back to the pond so I won‘t miss her.”
青蛙說：“太感謝了！那我得趕緊回池塘去，免得和她錯過�！�
The fortuneteller says， “You won’t meet her at the pond. You‘re going to meet her in her freshman biology class.
算命師說：“你不會在池塘遇到她，而是在她大學(xué)一年級的生物課上。”
