my brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sisters bureau and lifted out a tissue-wrapped package. this, he said, is not a slip. this is lingerie. he discarded the tissue and handed me the slip.
　　it was exquisite, silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. the price tag with an astronomical figure on it was still attached.
　　jan bought this the first time we went to new york, at least 8 or 9 years ago. she never wore it. she was saving it for a special occasion.
　　well, i guess this is the occasion.
　　he took the slip from me and put it on the bed, with the other clothes we were taking to the mortician. his hands lingered on the soft material for a moment, then he slammed the drawer shut and turned to me, dont ever save anything for a special occasion. every day you re alive is a special occasion.
　　i remembered those words through the funeral and the days that followed when i helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores that follow an unexpected death. i thought about them on the plane returning to california from the midwestern town where my sisters family lives. i thought about all the things that she hadnt seen or heard or done. i thought about the things that she had done without realizing that they were special.
　　im still thinking about his words, and theyve changed the weeds in the garden. im spending more time with my family and friends and less time in committee meetings. whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experience to savour, not endure. im trying to recognize these moment now and cherish them.
　　im not saving anything; we use our good china and crystal for every special. event such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, the first camellia blossom… i wear my good blazer to the market if i feel like it. my theory is if i look prosperous, i can shell out $28. 49 for one small bag of groceries without wincing. im not saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks in hardware stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as my party going friends.
　　someday and one of these days are losing their grip on my vocabulary. if its worth seeing or hearing or doing, i want to see and hear and do it now. im not sure what my sister wouldve done had she know that she wouldnt be here for the tomorrow we all take for granted.
　　i think she would have called family members and a few close friends. she might have called a few former friends to apologize, and mend fences for past squabbles. i like to think she would have gone out for a chinese dinner, her favorite food. im guessing. ill never know.
　　its those little things left undone that would make me angry if i knew that my hours were limited. angry because i put off seeing good friends whom i was going to get in touch with someday. angry because i hadnt written certain letters that i intended to write one of these days. angry and sorry that i didnt tell my husband and daughter often enough how much i truly love them.
　　im trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives. and every morning when i open my eyes, i tell myself that every day, every minute, every breath truly, is... a gift from god.

我的哥哥在法律打開了我妹妹衣柜最底層抽屜，拿出一個(gè)用紙包裝的包裹。這一點(diǎn)，他說，是不是襯裙。這是內(nèi)衣。他把薄紙撕開，遞給了我那件內(nèi)衣。
它很精致，絲質(zhì)，全手工縫制，蕾絲花邊的蛛網(wǎng)。與上一個(gè)天文數(shù)字的價(jià)格標(biāo)簽仍然附著。
這個(gè)月至少8或9年前買了我們第一次去紐約。她從來沒有穿過它。她留著在一個(gè)特殊的場(chǎng)合。
嗯，我想這就是機(jī)會(huì)。
他把妹夫從我把它放在床上，和我們正在采取的殯儀業(yè)者其他的衣服。他的手徘徊了一會(huì)兒軟質(zhì)材料，隨即砰然關(guān)上抽屜，轉(zhuǎn)身對(duì)我說，不要把任何東西一個(gè)特殊的場(chǎng)合。你活著的每一天都是一個(gè)特殊的場(chǎng)合。
我記得度過了葬禮的那些話，并隨后當(dāng)我?guī)退�和我的侄女照顧都遵循一個(gè)意外死亡后的傷心后事的那幾天。我想對(duì)他們?cè)陲w機(jī)上從中西部的小鎮(zhèn)，我的姐妹們的家庭生活返回加州。我想到了所有的事情，她說好的看到，聽到或完成。我想到，她沒有意識(shí)到其特殊性所作的事。
我還在想著他說的話，并且他們改變了雜草的花園。即時(shí)花更多的時(shí)間與家人和朋友在一起，少花些時(shí)間在那些工作會(huì)議。只要有可能，生活應(yīng)該是經(jīng)驗(yàn)細(xì)細(xì)品味的模式，無法忍受。我試著現(xiàn)在認(rèn)識(shí)到這些時(shí)刻，珍惜他們。
林不保存任何內(nèi)容;我們用我們精美的瓷器和水晶制品。比如說當(dāng)體重減了一磅時(shí)，當(dāng)廚房水槽堵塞，第一朵山茶花綻放......我穿我的衣服去市場(chǎng)，如果我喜歡它的感覺。我的理論是，如果我看上去還富足的，我可以掏出$ 28 49一小袋食品沒有畏縮。我不是拯救我的香水為特殊的派對(duì);在五金商店和銀行出納員文員有功能，以及我的晚會(huì)上朋友的鼻子。
有那么一天，這些天正在失去對(duì)我的詞匯量的抓地力。如果值得去看，去聽或做什么，我想看到和聽到的，現(xiàn)在就行動(dòng)。林不知道我的姐姐wouldve做了，她知道，她不會(huì)在這里了，明天大家都認(rèn)為理所當(dāng)然。
我想她會(huì)給叫家人和幾個(gè)親密的朋友。她可能還會(huì)給幾位昔日朋友道歉，重修舊好過去的爭(zhēng)吵。我想她可能會(huì)外出了中國(guó)菜，她最喜歡的食物。即時(shí)猜測(cè)。我永遠(yuǎn)無法知道。
它的那些小事情沒有完成，將讓我生氣，如果我知道我的時(shí)間是有限的。生氣，因?yàn)槲乙煌显偻峡吹胶门笥训娜宋視?huì)得到與一天聯(lián)系。生氣，因?yàn)槲艺f好的寫一些字母，我打算寫這些日子之一。憤怒和遺憾，我沒有告訴我的丈夫和女兒往往不夠我是多么真切地愛他們。
即時(shí)通訊正努力不再拖延，保留或珍藏那些帶來歡笑和光彩的我們的生活。當(dāng)我睜開眼睛，每天早上，我告訴自己每一天，每一分鐘，每一瞬間都真是... ...上帝賜予的禮物。