幽默英語故事精選文字版【篇一】
A Fine Match
One day a lady saw a mouse running across her kitchen floor. She was very afraid of mouse, so she ran out of the house, got into a bus and went to the shops. There she bought a mousetrap. The shopkeeper said to her, "Put some cheese in it and you will soon catch that mouse."
The lady went home with her mousetrap, but when she looked in her cupboard, she could not find any cheese in it. She did not want to go back to the shop, because it was very late, so she cut a picture of some cheese out of a magazine and put that in the trap.
Surprisingly, the picture of the cheese was quite successful! When the lady came down to the kitchen the next morning she found a picture of a mouse in the trap beside the picture of the cheese!
勢均力敵
有一天某位女士看到一只老鼠在自家的廚房地板上竄過。她很害怕老鼠，所以她沖出屋子，搭上了公共汽車直奔商店。在那兒，她買了一只老鼠夾。店主告訴她：“放點奶酪在里面，很快你就會逮住那只老鼠的。”
這位女士帶著鼠夾回到家里，但她沒有在碗櫥里找到奶酪。她不想再回到商店里去，因為已經(jīng)很晚了。于是，她就從一份雜志中剪下一幅奶酪的圖片放進(jìn)了夾子。
令人稱奇的是，這畫有奶酪的圖片竟然奏效了!第二天早上，這位女士下樓到廚房時，發(fā)現(xiàn)鼠夾里奶酪圖片旁有一張畫有老鼠的圖片!
幽默英語故事精選文字版【篇二】
Napoleon Was Ill
Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year.
"He‘s a good boy," said Jack‘s father, "and if you let him pass this time, I‘m sure he‘ll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well."
"No, no, that‘s quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn‘t know!"
"Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack‘s father. "You see, I‘m afraid we don‘t take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."
拿破侖病了
杰克到一所大學(xué)去學(xué)歷史。第一學(xué)期結(jié)束時，歷史課教授沒讓他及格。學(xué)校讓他退學(xué)。然而，杰克的父親決定去見教授，強(qiáng)烈要求讓杰克繼續(xù)來年的學(xué)業(yè)。
“他是個好孩子，”杰克的父親說：“您要是讓他這次及格，我相信他明年會有很大進(jìn)步，學(xué)期結(jié)束時，他一定會考好的。”
“不，不，那不可能，”教授馬上回答�！澳阒绬�?上個月我問他拿破侖什么時候死的，他都不知道�！�
“先生，請再給他機(jī)會吧�！苯芸说母赣H說：“你不知道，恐怕是因為我們家沒有訂報紙。我們家的人連拿破侖病了都不知道�！�
幽默英語故事精選文字版【篇三】
Father had a family of sons who were perpetually quarrelling among themselves. When he failed to heal their disputes by his exhortations, he determined to give them a practical illustration of the evils of disunion; and for this purpose he one day told them to bring him a bundle of sticks. When they had done so, he placed the faggot into the hands of each of them in succession, and ordered them to break it in pieces. They each tried with all their strength, and were not able to do it.
He next unclosed the faggot, and took the sticks separately, one by one, and again put them into their hands, on which they broke them easily. He then addressed them in these words： “My sons, if you are of one mind, and unite to assist each other, you will be as this faggot, uninjured by all the attempts of your enemies; but if you are divided among yourselves, you will be broken as easily as these sticks.”
一位父親有幾個孩子，這些孩子時常發(fā)生口角。他絲毫沒有辦法來勸阻他們，只好讓他們看看不合群所帶來害處的例子。為了達(dá)到這個目的，有一天他叫他們替他拿一捆細(xì)柴來。當(dāng)他們把柴帶來時，他便先后地將那捆柴放在每一個孩子的手中，吩咐他們弄斷這捆柴。他們一個個盡力去試，總是不能成功。
然后他解開那捆柴，一根根地放在他們手里，如此一來，他們便毫不費力地折斷了。于是他就告訴他們說：“孩子們!如果你們大家團(tuán)結(jié)一致，互相幫助，你們就像這捆柴一樣，不能被你們的敵人折斷;但如果你們自行*，你們就將和這些散柴一般，不堪一折了�！�
