My opinion on certificate craze

　　The growing tendency among college students to get all kinds of certificates has now evolved into a craze. Just randomly ask a student what he or she is busily engaged in doing, quite possibly, you would get the answer that he or she is preparing for a certificate of some kind. So, why’s the craze?

　　The reason behind this phenomenon is common — the enormous pressure of finding a job. Faced with a harsh job market, most students have no choice but to seek more certificates to parlay their qualifications. Another factor is that diploma and certificates still weighs heavily in terms of signifying one’s ability. For the sake of increasing their odds of landing a better job, the students are compelled to run from one exam to another.

　　Though I have an open mind toward the craze on certificates, I suggest that students should be more rational when it comes to certificates, since they do not necessarily tell their ability. Instead, they should be more involved in learning and capability boosting, thus, opportunities would come quite naturally.

　　文章點(diǎn)評(píng)：

　　這是一篇“中等偏上”的學(xué)生作文。 本文先對(duì)學(xué)生的考證熱進(jìn)行簡(jiǎn)介，引出全篇;接著分析這一現(xiàn)象背后的原因;整體看思路清晰，邏輯嚴(yán)密，行文流暢，句式多變，用語(yǔ)較為地道。

　　本篇亮點(diǎn)表達(dá)：

　　The growing tendency … has now evolved into…

　　be busily engaged in doing

　　The reason behind…

　　harsh job market

　　have no choice but to…

　　parlay their qualifications

　　sth. weighs heavily in terms of…

　　increasing one’s odds of…

　　be involved in doing …

　　be compelled to do…

　　have an open mind toward…

　　capability boosting

　　本文有待提高之處：

　　1. 文章結(jié)構(gòu)上，能看得出該同學(xué)試圖采用議論文的“三段式”(提出問題、分析問題、解決問題)。邏輯嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)，論證嚴(yán)密;句式表達(dá)靈活，用語(yǔ)較為地道。

　　2. 微觀語(yǔ)言點(diǎn)方面，有個(gè)主謂一致的方面的錯(cuò)誤(diploma and certificates still weighs heavily);有些語(yǔ)句稍顯啰嗦，比quite possibly, you would get the answer that… 大可簡(jiǎn)化成you’d most likely be told that… 更好，意思沒有絲毫減損，表達(dá)力反而增強(qiáng)許多;另外某些用語(yǔ)多重復(fù)，比如job多次出現(xiàn);為了避免此類現(xiàn)象，文中的the enormous pressure of finding a job 不妨改為 the enormous pressure of getting employed。

　　從整體看，本篇文章不錯(cuò)，值得參考借鑒，不過用于方面還有待提高。