周三傳出新聞，谷歌公司創(chuàng)始人謝爾蓋-布林與該公司的一名員工發(fā)生了婚外戀，并已與結(jié)婚六年的妻子安妮-沃西基分居。該新聞突顯了一場辦公室戀情可能帶來的種種后果。
A spokesman for Brin and Wojcicki told Forbes that the two have been living apart for severalmonths but “remain good friends and partners.” All Things D also reported that, according tosources, they have a prenuptial agreement and that their split and potential divorce wouldhave no impact on Google.
布林和沃西基的一位發(fā)言人告訴福布斯：兩人已經(jīng)分居數(shù)月但“仍然保持著良好的朋友和伙伴關(guān)系”�？萍疾┛虯ll Things D還報(bào)道稱，據(jù)消息人士透露，他們簽有一份婚前協(xié)議，兩人分居甚或是今后可能的離婚都不會(huì)給谷歌帶來任何影響。
It could be that everything works out fine for Brin, Wojcicki and Brin’s new romantic partner.But lawyers and career coaches say that getting involved with a colleague or boss can turninto a minefield of problems.
對于布林、沃西基和布林的新歡而言，這一切可能都沒什么大不了的。但律師們和職業(yè)教練們表示，與同事或老板發(fā)生愛戀可能會(huì)陷入危機(jī)四伏的境地。
Nevertheless, Brin is among a growing number of people who find their love interests at work.According to a 2013 survey by the job search website CareerBuilder.com, 39% of workers saythey’ve dated a colleague at some point in their careers.
不過，越來越多的人在工作中找到了意中人，布林只是其中的一個(gè)。根據(jù)求職網(wǎng)站CareerBuilder所做的一份2013年調(diào)查，39%的工作者稱曾與同事約會(huì)過。
Nearly a third say they married the person they dated at work. Another career website,Vault.com, found that 59% of respondents had dated a colleague at least once during theircareer.
近三分之一的人表示，他們與辦公室戀人結(jié)了婚。另一個(gè)職業(yè)網(wǎng)站Vault發(fā)現(xiàn)，59%的受訪者至少與同事約會(huì)過一次。
The office is a hotbed of romance–and a more effective one than dating websites or the cornerbar. Helaine Olen, coauthor with Stephanie Losee of Office Mate: The Employee Handbook forFinding–and Managing–Romance on the Job, says the workplace is where most people find lovethese days. “The office has turned into the village of the 21st century,” she says. “Where elsedo you spend 12 hours a day?”
辦公室是戀情的滋生地，比約會(huì)網(wǎng)站或酒吧的孤身角落都更富有成效。與史蒂芬妮-盧西合著《辦公室戀情之員工法則》的赫萊茵-奧倫說道，如今大多數(shù)人在工作場合找到愛情。“在21世紀(jì)，辦公室已經(jīng)變成了一個(gè)小村子，”她說，“還有什么地方你會(huì)一天待上12個(gè)小時(shí)?”
And fewer workers are keeping their romances secret. CareerBuilder found that 65% of workerswho had office relationships were public about them, compared with 46% seven years ago. Thesurvey of 4,200 workers was conducted for CareerBuilder by Harris Interactive.
越來越少的工作者對戀情進(jìn)行保密。CareerBuilder網(wǎng)站發(fā)現(xiàn)，65%有辦公室戀情的人選擇了公開，相比之下七年前這個(gè)比例僅為46%。這份采訪了4,200名工作者的調(diào)查結(jié)果是哈里斯互動(dòng)公司為CareerBuilder網(wǎng)站而做的。
While people are more relaxed about office dating than they were in the 1990s, and Brin andhis new love interest may live happily ever after, in many cases, boss-employee relationshipsend badly. Brin’s relationship raises one of the most obvious issues: the breakup of amarriage.
盡管與90年代相比現(xiàn)在人們對待辦公室戀情不再那么神經(jīng)緊張，而且布林和他的新歡可能從此幸福地生活在一起，但在很多情況下，老板和員工之間的戀情會(huì)慘淡收場。布林的戀情提出了一個(gè)再明顯不過的問題：婚姻破裂。
But another perilous scenario, says employment lawyer Kathleen McKenna of New York’sProskauer law firm is a sexual harassment suit brought by the underling. Such suits are basedon either a claim of a hostile work environment or a charge that there wasf-me-or-you’re-fired quid pro quo harassment.
但紐約普洛思律師事務(wù)所的勞動(dòng)法律師凱薩琳-麥凱納稱，還有一種更危險(xiǎn)的情況：由下級提起的性騷擾指控。這樣的案件往往指控老板給自己小鞋兒穿，或者威脅如若不從就會(huì)被炒魷魚。
Given that office romance seems to be inevitable, I asked McKenna and another lawyer, plus acareer coach, a sociologist and a wise Forbes contributor, for rules that can help ensure thatan office romance turns out well.
考慮到辦公室戀情似乎不可避免，我曾向麥凱納和另一名律師，外加一名職業(yè)教練、一位社會(huì)學(xué)家以及一位睿智的福布斯撰稿人請教，有沒有什么規(guī)則能為辦公室戀情保駕護(hù)航。
No. 1: Avoid a supervisor-supervisee relationship.
首先是避免在上下級之間發(fā)展戀情。
Especially for the person in the supervisor’s seat, such a relationship is “criminally stupid,” saysMcKenna. “You might as well put a sign on your forehead that says, ‘Kick me here.’” McKennaacts mainly as a defense lawyer. In Brin’s case it’s not clear he broke this rule, given that he’soutside the company and doesn’t officially supervise his new romantic partner.
尤其對處在上級位置上的那個(gè)人來說，這樣的關(guān)系“非常愚蠢可能招惹上官司”，麥凱納說道。她說，“這無異于在腦門上貼了一個(gè)標(biāo)志，上面寫著‘朝這兒踢’。”麥凱納主要做被告方的辯護(hù)律師。就布林的情況而言，考慮到他不在公司內(nèi)部，在職務(wù)上沒有與新戀人形成上下級關(guān)系，因此尚不清楚他是否違反了該規(guī)則。
Still Edward Hernstadt, a plaintiff-side employment lawyer in New York, agrees with McKenna. Anemployee can make a claim that she (it’s usually a she) wouldn’t have dated the boss if shehadn’t felt compelled. “The supervisor will say, ‘I just asked you to go on a date,’” saysHernstadt. “But the subordinate will say, ‘I felt I couldn’t say no.’”
然而，紐約原告方勞動(dòng)法律師愛德華•赫恩斯塔德同意麥凱納的看法。員工可能會(huì)聲稱如果不是感覺受到了脅迫，她(通常是女性)是不會(huì)與老板約會(huì)的。赫恩斯塔德說，“她的上級會(huì)說，‘我只是問你是否愿意與我約會(huì)�！�(dāng)事人會(huì)說，‘我感到不能夠說不’。”
If a supervisor and a subordinate just can’t resist each other, McKenna recommends that theysign what she calls a “cupid contract.”
如果上下級之間彼此吸引且不能自拔，麥凱納就建議雙方簽署一份“丘比特合約”。
They should spell out in writing the fact that both are engaging in a consensual relationship. Ifthe company has a sexual harassment policy, they should make it clear they understand therules.
他們應(yīng)當(dāng)白紙黑字地寫清楚：彼此兩情相悅。如果公司有關(guān)于性騷擾的制度，他們還應(yīng)當(dāng)寫明自己知曉這些規(guī)則。
Helaine Olen agrees. “Set some ground rules you can use if the relationship flames out,” sheadvises. “It’s like a prenup for an office romance.”
赫萊茵-奧倫也認(rèn)同這一點(diǎn)。她建議，“訂立一些基本規(guī)則，一旦關(guān)系惡化可以用到。對辦公室戀情來說這就像婚前協(xié)議一樣�！�
Olen also suggests that the senior partner in the relationship step up and report the romanceto the human resources department. In so doing the supervisor should volunteer to take thehit if the company decides the pair should no longer work together.
奧倫還建議，上下級戀情中作為上級的一方應(yīng)當(dāng)主動(dòng)站出來，向人力資源部門報(bào)備。在這樣做的過程中，如果公司認(rèn)為兩人不應(yīng)再一同工作，上級的一方應(yīng)該主動(dòng)提出離開。
It’s far preferable to find someone outside your department to date. ConnieThanasoulis-Cerrachio, a career coach who has worked with companies including Merrill Lynch,Pfizer and Citigroup, recommends looking for love at office philanthropic activities and socialevents like softball games rather than in the neighboring cubicle.
在自己部門以外的地方尋找心儀對象就可取得多了。曾經(jīng)與美林證券、輝瑞制藥和花旗銀行合作的職業(yè)教練康妮-薩納索利斯·切拉基奧建議在公司的慈善活動(dòng)以及像壘球游戲等社交活動(dòng)中尋找愛情，而不是盯著身邊的同事。
Another piece of perhaps obvious but valuable advice: Pause before you plunge.
另一個(gè)顯而易見但非常寶貴的忠告是：在一頭扎進(jìn)去之前請三思。
“Stop and think about yourself in relation to the other person,” advises Pepper Schwartz, aprofessor of sociology at the University of Washington and the author of 16 books on datingand romance.
“停下來想想自己和對方的關(guān)系。”華盛頓大學(xué)社會(huì)學(xué)教授佩珀-施瓦茨建議道，她著有16本婚戀作品。
“If you’re in heavy lust, you’ve got to slow down.” McKenna agrees. “Think about the fact that50% of marriages don’t make it,” she says. “The batting average for other relationships is muchworse.”
“如果你用情很深，你就不得不放慢節(jié)奏�！丙渼P納表示認(rèn)同�！跋胂�50%的婚姻都不能走到最后，”她說，“其他關(guān)系的平均成功率就更低了�！�
One more piece of advice: Consider how you would feel if you lost your job.
還有一條建議：想想如果失去工作，你的感受會(huì)是如何。
Everyone who has experienced heartbreak knows that proximity to an ex can be unbearable.All too often, say experts, failed office romances result in one person leaving the job–willfullyor not.
任何經(jīng)歷過分手的時(shí)候人都知道，與前任戀人抬頭不見低頭見是多么難以忍受的一件事。專家們稱，辦公室戀情告吹常常會(huì)導(dǎo)致一個(gè)人離開公司，無論是否出于本意。
“The possible consequences here are not just the loss of the person you’re gaga over,” saysSchwartz. “It could mean the loss of your livelihood.” Brin obviously doesn’t run that risk and itseems his new romantic partner will also be safe, given that she doesn’t report directly to him.But for the rest of us, it’s wise to keep in mind the potential fallout from an office liaison.“
這里可能出現(xiàn)的結(jié)果是，你失去的不僅僅是讓你為之傾倒的那個(gè)人，”施瓦茨說道，“可能還有你的生計(jì)�！憋@然，布林不用冒這個(gè)風(fēng)險(xiǎn)，而且考慮到他的新戀人不必直接向他匯報(bào)工作，貌似她也比較安全。但是對我們其他人來說，牢牢記住辦公室戀情對事業(yè)的潛在影響不失為明智之舉。
