THE room in which she had taken refuge was lit by a single candle on a table. Lying back on a large couch, her dress undone, she held one hand on her heart and allowed the other to hang limply. On the table was a silver basin half full of water. The water was mottled with flecks of blood. Marguerite, extremely pale and with her mouth half open, was trying to catch her breath. At times, her chest swelled in a long, indrawn sigh which, when released, seemed to afford her some slight relief and left her for a few seconds with a feeling of well- being. I went to her? she did not stir ?sat down and took the hand which was resting on the couch. 'Ah! Is it you?' she said with a smile. My face must have looked distraught, for she added: 'Aren't you very well either?' 'I'm all right, but how about you? Are you still feeling ill?' 'Not very.' And, with a handkerchief, she wiped away the tears which the coughing had brought to her eyes. 'I'm used to it now.' 'You are killing yourself, ' I said, and there was emotion in my voice. 'I wish I could be your friend, a relative, so that I could stop you harming yourself like this.' 'Ah! There's absolutely no need for you to be alarmed, ' she replied bitterly. 'You can see how well the others look after me. The truth is they know there's nothing anybody can do about what I've got.' Thereupon, she got to her feet and, taking the candle, set it on the mantelpiece and looked at herself in the mirror. 'How pale I look!' she said, refastening her dress and running her fingers through her dishevelled hair. 'Oh, who cares! Let's go back into supper. Are you coming?' But I remained seated and did not move. She realized just how shaken I had been by this scene, for she came up to me and, holding out her hand, she said: 'Don't be silly. Do come.' I took her hand which I put to my lips, and despite myself I moistened it with a few pent-up tears. 'Well, now! You really are a child!' she said, as she sat down again beside me. 'There, you're crying! What's the matter?' 'I must seem very stupid to you, but what I've just seen has made me feel quite dreadful.' 'You are really very kind! But what do you expect? I can't sleep, I've got to take my mind off things for a while. And anyhow, with girls like me, if there's one more or fewer of us, what difference does it make? The doctors tell me the blood I cough is really only bronchial; I pretend I believe them, it's all I can do for them.' 'Listen, Marguerite, ' I said then, with an effusion which I was unable to check, 'I don't know what sort of influence you might have over my life, but I do know this: at this moment, there is no one, not even my sister, about whom I feel more concerned than you. It's been like that ever since I first saw you. So, in Heaven's name, look after yourself properly, don't go on living as you do.' 'If I looked after myself properly, I'd die. What keeps me going is the pace of the life I lead. In any case, taking care of yourself is all well and good for society ladies who have a family and friends. But women like me are abandoned the moment we're no more use for feeding the vanity or pleasure of our lovers, and then long, empty evenings follow long empty days. I know, believe me. I was in bed for two months; after the first three weeks, no one came to see me any more.' 'I realize that I mean nothing to you, ' I went on, 'but if you wanted, I'd care for you like a brother, I wouldn't leave you and I'd make you better. And then, when you were strong enough, you could go back to the life you lead now, if that's what you wanted; but of this I am sure? you would come to prefer a quiet life which would make you happier and keep you pretty.' 'You may think like that this evening, because the wine has made you sentimental, but you wouldn't have as much patience as you say you have.' 'Let me remind you, Marguerite, that you were ill for two months and during those two months, I called every day to find out how you were.' 'That's true. But why did you never come up?' 'Because I didn't know you then.' 'But whoever observes such niceties with girls like me?' 'One always observes the niceties with any woman; at least, that's what I believe.' 'So you'd look after me?' 'Yes.' 'You'd stay by me every day?' 'Yes.' 'And even every night?' 'For as long as you weren't tired of me.' 'What would you say that was?' 'Devotion.' 'And where does this devotion come from?' 'From an irresistible attraction that draws me to you.' 'In other words you're in love with me? Just say it straight out, it's a great deal simpler.' 'I may be: but if I ever tell you some day that I do, this is not that day.' 'It would be better for you if you never said it.' 'Why?' 'Because there are only two things that can come from such an admission.' 'And they are?' 'Either I turn you down, in which case you will resent me, or I say yes, in which case you won't have much of a mistress; someone who is temperamental, ill, depressed, or gay in a way that is sadder than sorrow itself, someone who coughs blood and spends a hundred thousand francs a year ?which is all very well for a rich old man like the Duke, but it's not much of a prospect for a young man like yourself. And, if it's proof you want, the fact is that all the young lovers I have ever had have never stayed around for very long.' I did not answer: I listened. Her frankness, which seemed to verge on the confessional, and the dismal life which I half-glimpsed beneath the golden veil that covered its stark reality from which the poor girl sought escape in debauchery, drunkenness and sleepless nights, all made such an impression on me that I could not find a thing to say. 'But come, ' Marguerite continued, 'we're talking foolish nonsense. Give me your hand and let's go back to the diningroom. The others must be wondering what to make of our absence.' 'Go back, if that's what you want, but please let me stay here.' 'Why?' 'Because I can't bear to see you so bright and cheerful.' 'In that case, I'll be sad.' 'Listen, Marguerite, let me tell you something which other men have no doubt told you often, something which the habit of hearing will perhaps prevent you from believing, though it is nonetheless real, something which I shall never say to you again.' 'And this something?' she said, with a smile such as young mothers smile when listening to their child being silly. ' ...is this. From the moment I first saw you, I don't know how or why, you have occupied a place in my life. Though I've tried to drive your image out of my mind, it has always come back. Today, when I met you after two years without seeing you, you took an even stronger hold on my heart and my thoughts. Now you have received me here, now I know you and can see everything that is strange in you, the truth is that you've become indispensable to me, and I shall go out of my mind, not simply if you do not love me, but if you do not let me love you.' 'But, you wretched man, I shall say to you what Madame D used to say: you just be very rich, then! You clearly have no idea that I spend six or seven thousands francs a month, and that spending this much has become necessary for my way of life; can't you see, you poor fool, that I'd ruin you in no time at all? that you family would have you declared unfit to manage your affairs to teach you not to live with creatures like me? Love me, like a good friend, but not otherwise. Come and see me, we'll laugh, we'll talk, but don't go getting ideas about my merits: they are very small. You have a kind heart, you need to be loved, you are too young and too sensitive to live in our world. Find yourself some married woman. You can see I'm a decent sort of girl, and I'm being frank with you.' 'Hello! What on earth are you pair up to? 'cried Prudence, whom we had not heard coming, as she appeared at the bedroom door, her hair half undone and her dress open. In her disordered appearance, I recognized Gaston's handiwork. 'We're having a serious talk, ' said Marguerite, ' leave us for a while, we'll rejoin you shortly.' 'All right, all right, talk away, my children, 'said Prudence, and she left, closing the door as if to reinforce the tone in which she had spoken these last words. 'So it's agreed, 'Marguerite went on, when we were alone, ' you will stop loving me.' 'I shall go away.' 'It's as bad as that?' I had gone too far to turn back, and besides, this girl overwhelmed me. Her mixture of high spirits, sadness, ingenuousness and prostitution, the very illness which as surely heightened her sensitivity to impressions as it did her nervous reactions ?everything made me see that if, from the outset, I did not gain some hold over her heedless, fickle nature, then she would be lost to me forever. 'So what you are saying is quite serious? ' she said. 'Very serious.' 'But why didn't you tell me all this before?' 'When could I have told you?' 'The day after you were introduced to me at the Opera-Comique.' 'I think you'd have received me very badly if I had come to see you.' 'Why?' 'Because I had behaved stupidly the previous evening.' 'Yes, that's true. But all the same, you were already in love with me then.' 'Yes.' 'None of which prevented you from going home to bed and sleeping very soundly after the play. We all know about great loves of that sort.' 'Now that's where you're wrong. Do you know what I did that evening we met at the Opera-Comique?' 'No. ' 'I waited for you outside the entrance to the Cafe Anglais. I followed the carriage which brought you and your friends back here and, when I saw you get out by yourself and go up to your apartment alone, I was very happy.' Marguerite began to laugh. 'What are you laughing at?' 'Nothing.' 'Tell me, I beg you, or I shall think that you're laughing at me again.' 'You won't be cross?' 'I have no right to be cross.' 'Well, there was a good reason why I should return alone.' 'What was that?' 'There was someone waiting for me here.' Had she stabbed me with a knife, she could not have hurt me more. I stood up and, offering my hand, said: 'Goodbye.' 'I knew you'd be cross, ' she said. 'Men have a mania for wanting to know things that will upset them.' 'But I assure you, ' I added coldly, as though I had wanted to show that I was cured of my passion for ever, ' I assure you that I am not cross. It was only natural that someone should have been waiting for you, as natural as it is that I should leave here at three in the morning.' 'Have you got someone waiting for you at home too?' 'No, but I must go.' 'Goodbye, then.' 'You are sending me away.' 'Not at all.' 'Then why do you say hurtful things?' 'What hurtful things?' 'You told me someone was waiting for you.' 'I couldn't help laughing at the thought of your being so happy to see me coming in by myself, when there was such a good reason for me to do so.' 'People often find happiness in foolish things. It is unkind to destroy their happiness when, simply by allowing it to continue, we can increase the joy of those who have discovered such happiness.' 'But what do you think I am? I am neither a virgin nor a duchess. I'd never met you before today and I don't have to justify my actions to you. Assuming that one day I become your mistress, you must realize that I've had other lovers before you. If you're going to carry on and be jealous now, what's it going to be like after? if there's ever an after! I never met a man like you.' 'That's because no man has ever loved you as I do.' 'Let's be clear about this: are you really in love with me?' 'As much as anyone could possibly love anybody, I believe.' 'And how long has this been going on?' 'Since I saw you one day get out of your barouche and go into Susse's, three years ago.' 'How wonderful, it really is! And what do I have to do to acknowledge this great love?' 'You must love me a little, ' I said, with a beating heart which almost prevented me from speaking; for, despite the half-mocking smiles with which she had accompanied the whole of our conversation, it seemed to me that Marguerite was beginning to share my troubled state and that I was approaching the moment which I had been so long awaiting. 'But what about the Duke?' 'What Duke?' 'My old Duke. He's very suspicious.' 'He won't know.' 'And if he does?' 'He'll forgive you.' 'Oh no! He'll leave me and then what'll become of me?' 'You are already running that risk for someone else's sake.' 'How do you know that?' 'From the order you gave that no one should be allowed in tonight.' 'You're right; but he is a good friend.' 'Who you don't much care for, if you can close you door to him at this time of night.' 'You're in no position to criticize me since I did it to receive you and your friend.' Imperceptibly, I had drawn closer to Marguerite, I had put my arms around her waist and could feel her supple body pressing lightly against my clasped hands. 'If you only knew how much I love you!' I whispered. 'Do you really mean it?' 'I swear it.' 'Well, if you promise to do everything I say without arguing, without finding fault or asking questions, I will love you, perhaps.' 'Whatever you ask!' 'But I warn you, I want to be free to do whatever I choose, without having to tell you anything about the life I lead. For a long time now, I've been looking for a young, easygoing lover, someone who would love me without asking questions, someone I could love without his feeling that he has any rights over me. I have never found one yet. Men, instead of being content with being freely given for long periods what they hardly dared hope to get once, are forever asking their mistresses for an account of the present, the past and even the future. As they get used to a mistress, they try to dominate her, and they become all the more demanding the more they are given. If I decide to take a new lover now, I want him to have three very rare qualities: he must be trusting, submissive and discreet.' 'Very well, I shall be everything you desire.' 'We'll see. ' 'And when will we see?' 'Later.' 'Why?' 'Because, ' said Marguerite, slipping out of my arms and taking a single bloom from a large bunch of red camellias which had been delivered that morning and putting it in my buttonhole, 'because you can't always implement treaties the day they are signed.' The meaning is plain. 'And when shall I see you again?' I said, taking her in my arms. 'When this camellia is a different colour.' 'And when will it be a different colour.' 'Tomorrow, between eleven and midnight. Are you happy?' 'How can you ask?' 'Not a word of any of this to your friend nor to Prudence, nor anyone.' 'I promise. ' 'Now kiss me, and let's go back to the dining-room.' She proffered her lips, smoothed her hair again and then she, singing as she went, and I, who was madly elated, left the room together. In the drawing-room, she stopped and said softly: 'It must seem strange to you that I should appear ready to accept you straightway like this: do you know the reason?' 'The reason, ' she went on, taking my hand and pressing it to her heart which I could fell beating violently and insistently, 'the reason is that since I shall not live as long as the others, I have promised myself that I shall live my life faster.' 'Don't talk to me like this, I implore you.' 'Oh, cheer up! 'she went on, laughing. 'However little time I have to live, I'll live long enough to see you love out.' And, singing, she went into the dining-room. 'Where's Nanine? ' she said, seeing Gaston and Prudence alone. 'Asleep in your bedroom, waiting for you to go to bed, ' answered Prudence. 'Poor girl, I'm wearing her out! Come, gentlemen, be off with you, it's high time.' Ten minutes later, Gaston and I were on our way out. Marguerite squeezed my hand as she said good- bye and remained with Prudence. 'Well?' asked Gaston, when we were outside, 'what do you make of Marguerite?' 'She's an angel and I'm mad about her.' 'I thought so. Did you tell her?' 'Yes.' 'And did she promise to believe you?' 'No.' 'She's not like Prudence, then.' 'Did she promise to believe you?' 'She did more than that, old man! You wouldn't think so, but that Duvernoy woman is still a bit of all right, even if she is on the large side!'
她躲進去的那個房間只點著一支蠟燭，蠟燭放在桌子上。她斜靠在一張大沙發(fā)上，裙衣敞開著，一只手按在心口上，另一只手懸在沙發(fā)外面，桌子上有一只銀臉盆，盛著半盆清水； 水里漂浮著一縷縷大理石花紋似的血絲。 瑪格麗特臉色慘白，半張著嘴，竭力想喘過氣來，她不時深深地吸氣，然后長噓一聲，似乎這樣可以輕松一些，可以舒暢幾秒鐘。 我走到她面前，她紋絲不動，我坐了下來，握住她擱在沙發(fā)上的那只手。 “啊！是您？”她微笑著對我說。 大概我臉上表情很緊張，因為她接著又問我，“難道您也生病了？” “我沒有病，可是您呢，您還覺得不舒服嗎？” “還有一點兒，”她用手絹擦掉了她咳出來的眼淚，說，“這種情況我現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)慣了�！� “您這是在自殺，夫人，”我用一種激動的聲音對她說，“我要做您的朋友，您的親人，我要勸您不要這樣糟蹋自己。” “�。∧鷮嵲谟貌恢@么大驚小怪，”她用帶點兒辛酸的語調爭辯說，“您看其他人是否還關心我，因為他們非常清楚這種病是無藥可治的�！� 她說完后就站起身，拿起蠟燭放在壁爐上，對著鏡子照著。 “我的臉色有多么蒼白��！”她邊說邊把裙衣系好，用手指掠著散亂的頭發(fā)，“��！行了！我們回到桌子上去，來吧�！� 但是我還是坐著不動。 她知道我這種情感是被這幕景象引起的，便走近我的身邊，把手伸給我說： “看您，來吧�！� 我接住她的手，把它放在唇邊吻著，兩滴忍了好久的淚水不由自主地流了出來，潤濕了她的手。 “噯，多孩子氣！”她一面說一面重新在我身邊坐下，“啊，您在哭！您怎么啦？” “您一定以為我有點癡，可我剛才看到的景象使我非常難過�！� “您心腸真好！您叫我怎么辦好呢？我晚上睡不著，那就只得稍微消遣消遣；再說像我這樣的姑娘，多一個少一個又有什么關系呢？醫(yī)生對我說這是支氣管出血，我裝著相信他們的話，我對他們還能怎么樣呢？” “請聽我說，瑪格麗特，”我再也抑制不住自己的感情了，就說，“我不知道您對我的生命會產(chǎn)生什么樣的影響，但是我所知道的是，眼下我最關心的就是您，我對您的關心超過了對任何人，甚至超過了對我妹妹的關心。這種心情自從見到您以來就有了。好吧，請看在上天的份上，好好保重自己的身體吧，別再像您現(xiàn)在這樣地生活了吧！” “如果我保重自己的身體，我反而會死去，現(xiàn)在支撐著我的，就是我現(xiàn)在過的這種充滿狂熱的生活。說到保重自己的身體，那只是指那些有家庭、有朋友的上流社會的太太小姐們說的，而我們這些人呢，一旦我們不能滿足情人的虛榮心，不能供他們尋歡作樂，消愁解悶，他們就會把我們撇在一邊，我們就只好度日如年地忍受苦難，這些事我知道得一清二楚，哼！我在床上躺了兩個月，第三個星期之后就誰也不來看我了。” “我對您來說確實算不了什么，”我接著說，“但是，如果您不嫌棄的話，我會像一個兄弟一樣來照顧您，不離開您，我會治好您的玻等您身體復原之后，只要您喜歡，再恢復您現(xiàn)在這種生活也行；但是我可以肯定，您一定會喜歡過清靜生活的，這會使您更加幸福，會使您永遠這樣美麗�！� “今兒晚上您這樣想，那是因為您酒后傷感，但是，您自夸的那份耐心您是不會有的。” “請聽我對您說，瑪格麗特，您曾經(jīng)生了兩個月的病，在這兩個月里面，我每天都來打聽您的病情。” “這倒不假，但是為什么您不上樓來呢？” “因為那時候我還沒有認識您。” “跟我這樣一個姑娘還有什么不好意思的呢？” “跟一個女人在一起總會有點兒不好意思，至少我是這樣想的�！� “這么說，您真的會來照顧我嗎？” “是的。” “您每天都留在我身邊嗎？” “是的�！� “甚至每天晚上也一樣嗎？” “任何時間都一樣，只要您不討厭我�！� “您把這叫做什么？” “忠誠�！� “這種忠誠是從哪兒來的呢？” “來自一種我對您無法克制的同情�！� “這樣說來您愛上我了嗎？您干脆就這樣說，不是更簡單嗎？” “這是可能的，但是，即使我有一天要對您說，那也不是在今天�！� “您還是永遠也別對我講的好。” “為什么？” “因為這樣表白只能有兩種結果�！� “哪兩種？” “或者是我拒絕您，那您就會怨恨我；或者是我接受您，那您就有了一個多愁善感的情婦；一個神經(jīng)質的女人，一個有病的女人，一個憂郁的女人，一個快樂的時候比痛苦還要悲傷的女人，一個吐血的、一年要花費十萬法郎的女人，對公爵這樣一個有錢的老頭兒來說是可以的，但是對您這樣一個年輕人來說是很麻煩的。我以前所有的年輕的情夫都很快地離開了我，那就是證據(jù)。” 我什么也沒有回答，我聽著這種近乎懺悔的自白，依稀看到在她紙醉金迷的生活的外表下掩蓋著痛苦的生活�？蓱z的姑娘在放蕩、酗酒和失眠中逃避生活的現(xiàn)實。這一切使我感慨萬端，我一句話也說不出來。 “不談了吧，”瑪格麗特繼續(xù)說，“我們簡直是在講孩子話。把手遞給我，一起回餐室去吧，別讓他們知道我們在干什么�！� “您高興去就去吧，但是我請您允許我留在這兒�！� “為什么？” “因為您的快樂使我感到非常痛苦�！� “那么，我就愁眉苦臉好啦�！� “啊，瑪格麗特，讓我跟您講一件事，這件事別人或許也經(jīng)常對您說，您因為聽慣了，也不會把它當回事。但這的確是我的心里話，我以后也永遠不會再跟您講第二遍了。” “什么事？……”她微笑著對我說，年輕的母親在聽她們的孩子講傻話時常帶著這種微笑。 “自從我看到您以后，我也不知道是怎么回事，更不知道是為了什么，您在我的生命中就占了一個位置，我曾想忘掉您，但是辦不到，您的形象始終留在我的腦海里。我已經(jīng)有兩年沒有看到您了，但今天，當我遇到您的時候，您在我心坎里所占的位置反而更加重要了。最后，您今天接待了我，我認識了您，知道了您所有奇特的遭遇，您成了我生命中不可缺少的人，別說您不愛我，即使您不讓我愛您，我也會發(fā)瘋的�！� “但您有多么可憐啊，我要學D太太①說過的話來跟您講了，‘那么您很有錢羅！’難道您不知道我每個月要花上六、七千法郎。這種花費已經(jīng)成了我生活上的需要，難道您不知道，可憐的朋友，要不了多久，我就會使您破產(chǎn)的。您的家庭會停止供給您一切費用，以此來教訓您不要跟我這樣一個女人一起生活。像一個好朋友那樣愛我吧，但是不能超過這個程度。您常常來看看我，我們一起談談笑笑，但是用不著過分看重我，因為我是分文不值的。您心腸真好，您需要愛情。但是要在我們這個圈子里生活，您還太年輕，也太容易動感情，您還是去找個有夫之婦做情婦吧。您看，我是個多好的姑娘，我跟您說話有多坦率�！� ①指迪韋爾諾瓦太太。 “嘿嘿！你們在這里搞什么鬼��？”普律當絲突然在門口叫道，她什么時候來的，我們一點也沒聽見。她頭發(fā)蓬松，衣衫零亂，我看得出這是加斯東的手作的怪。 “我們在講正經(jīng)事，”瑪格麗特說，“讓我們再談幾句，我們一會兒就來。” “好，好，你們談吧，孩子們，”普律當絲說著就走了。一面關上了門，仿佛是為了加重她剛才說的幾句話的語氣似的。 “就這樣說定了，”瑪格麗特在只剩下我們兩個人的時候接著說：“您就不要再愛我了�！� “我馬上就走�！� “竟然到這種地步了嗎？” 我真是騎虎難下，再說，這個姑娘已經(jīng)使我失魂落魄了。這種既有快樂，又有悲傷，既有純潔，又有*欲的混合物，還有那使她精神亢奮，容易沖動的疾病，這一切都使我知道了如果一開始我就控制不了這個輕浮和健忘的女人，我就會失去她。 “那么，您說的是真話嗎？”她說。 “完全是真的�！� “那您為什么不早對我說？” “我什么時候有機會對您說這些話呢？” “您在喜劇歌劇院被介紹給我的第二天就可以對我說嘛。” “我以為如果我來看您的話，您大概不會歡迎我的�！� “為什么？” “因為前一天晚上我有點傻里傻氣。” “這倒是真的，但是，您那個時候不是已經(jīng)愛上我了嗎？” “是埃” “既然如此，您在散戲后倒還能回家去安心睡覺。這些偉大的愛情就是這么回事，這個我們一清二楚�！� “那么，您就錯了，您知道那天晚上我在離開喜劇歌劇院以后干了些什么？” “我不知道�！� “我先在英國咖啡館門口等您，后來跟著您和您三位朋友乘坐的車子，到了您家門口。當我看到您一個人下了車，又一個人回家的時候，我心里很高興。” 瑪格麗特笑了。 “您笑什么？” “沒有什么�！� “告訴我，我求求您，不然我以為您還在取笑我�！� “您不會生氣嗎？” “我有什么權利生氣呢？” “好吧，我一個人回家有一個很美妙的原因�！� “什么原因？” “有人在這里等我�！� 即使她給我一刀子也不會比這更使我痛苦，我站起來，向她伸過手去。 “再見，”我對她說。 “我早知道您一定會生氣的，”她說，“男人們總是急不可耐地要知道會使他們心里難受的事情�！� “但是，我向您保證，”我冷冰冰地接著說，仿佛要證明我已經(jīng)完全控制住了我的激情，“我向您保證我沒有生氣。有人等您那是十分自然的事，就像我凌晨三點鐘要告辭一樣，也是十分自然的事。” “是不是也有人在家里等您呢？” “沒有，但是我非走不可�！� “那么，再見啦�！� “您打發(fā)我走嗎？” “沒有的事。” “為什么您要使我痛苦？” “我使您痛苦什么啦？” “您對我說那時候有人在等您�！� “當我想到您看見我單獨一人回家就覺得那么高興，而那時又有這么一個美妙的原因的時候，我就忍不住要笑出來啦�！� “我們經(jīng)常會有一種孩子般的快樂，而要是只有讓這種快樂保持下去，才能使得到這種快樂的人更加幸福的話，去摧毀這種快樂就太惡毒了�！� “可是您到底把我當什么人看呀？我既不是黃花閨女，又不是公爵夫人。我不過今天才認識您，我的行為跟您有什么相干，就算將來有一天我要成為您情婦的話，您也該知道，除了您我還有別的情人，如果您現(xiàn)在還沒有成為我的情人就跟我吃起醋來了，那么將來，就算有這個‘將來’吧，又該怎么辦呢？我從來沒有看見過像您這樣的男人�！� “這是因為從來也沒有一個人像我這樣愛過您�！� “好吧，您說心里話，您真的很愛我嗎？” “我想，我能愛到什么程度就愛到了什么程度�！� “而這一切是從……？” “從我看見您從馬車上下來走進絮斯商店那一天起開始的，那是三年以前的事了。” “您講得太美了，您知道嗎？可我該怎樣來報答這種偉大的愛情呢？” “應該給我這么一點愛，”我說，心跳得幾乎連話也講不出來，因為盡管瑪格麗特講話的時候流露出一種含譏帶諷的微笑，我還是覺得出來，她似乎也跟我一樣有點心慌意亂了，我等待已久的時刻正在逐步逼近。 “那么公爵怎么辦呢？” “哪個公爵？” “我的老醋罐子�！� “他什么也不會知道。” “如果他知道了呢？” “他會原諒您的�！� “啊，不會的！他就不要我了，那我怎么辦呢？” “您為別人不也在冒這種危險嗎？” “您怎么知道的？” “您剛才不是吩咐今晚不要讓人進來嗎？這我就知道了�！� “這倒是真的，但這是一位規(guī)矩朋友�！� “既然您這么晚還把他擋在門外，說明您也并不怎么看重他。” “這也用不著您來教訓我呀，因為這是為了接待你們，您和您的朋友�！� 我已經(jīng)慢慢地挨近了瑪格麗特，我輕輕地摟著她的腰，她輕盈柔軟的身軀已經(jīng)在我的懷抱里了。 “您知道我有多么愛您！”我輕輕地對她說。 “真的嗎？” “我向您發(fā)誓�！� “那么，如果您答應一切都照我的意思辦，不說二話，不監(jiān)視我，不盤問我，那么我可能會愛您的�！� “我全都聽您的！” “我有言在先，只要我喜歡，我要怎么著就怎么著，我不會把我的生活瑣事告訴您的。很久以來我一直在找一個年輕聽話的情人，他要對我多情而不多心，他接受我的愛但又并不要求權利。這樣的人我還從來沒有找到過。男人們總是這樣的，一旦他們得到了他們原來難以得到的東西，時間一長，他們又會感到不滿足了，他們進而要求了解他們情人的目前、過去、甚至將來的情況。在他們逐漸跟情人熟悉以后，就想控制她，情人越遷就，他們就越得寸進尺。倘使我現(xiàn)在打定主意要再找一個情人的話，我希望他具有三種罕見的品格：信任我，聽我的話，而且不多嘴。” “所有這些我都能做到�！� “我們以后再看吧！” “什么時候呢？” “再過些時候�！� “為什么？” “因為，”瑪格麗特從我懷抱里掙脫身子，在一大束早上送來的紅色茶花中間摘了一朵，插在我衣服的紐孔里，說道，“因為條約總不會在簽字的當天就執(zhí)行的�！� 這是不難理解的。 “那么我什么時候可以再見到您呢？”我一面說，一面把她緊緊地摟在懷里。 “當這朵茶花變顏色的時候�！� “那么什么時候它會變顏色呢？” “明天晚上，半夜十一點到十二點之間，您滿意了吧？” “這您還用問嗎？” “這件事您對誰也不要說，不論是您的朋友、普律當絲，還是別的什么人。” “我答應您。” “現(xiàn)在，吻我一下，我們一起回餐室去吧�！� 她的嘴唇向我湊了過來，隨后她又重新整理了一下頭發(fā)，在我們走出這個房間的時候，她唱著歌；我呢，幾乎有些瘋瘋癲癲的了。 走進客廳時，她站住了，低聲對我說： “我這種似乎準備馬上領您情的模樣，您該覺得有些意外吧，您知道這是什么緣故嗎？” “這是因為，”她把我的手緊緊壓在她的胸口上，我覺得她的心在劇烈地跳動，她接著對我說，“這是因為，明擺著我的壽命要比別人短，我要讓自己活得更痛快些�！� “別再跟我講這種話了，我懇求您。” “喔！您放心吧，”她笑著繼續(xù)說，“即使我活不多久，我活的時間也要比您愛我的時間長些�！� 接著她就走進了餐室。 “納尼娜到哪兒去了？”她看到只有加斯東和普律當絲兩個人就問道。 “她在您房間里打盹，等著侍候您上床呢�！逼章僧斀z回答說。 “她真可憐！我把她累死了！好啦，先生們，請便吧，是時候了�！� 十分鐘以后，加斯東和我兩人告辭出來，瑪格麗特和我握手道別，普律當絲還留在那里。 “喂，”走出屋子以后，加斯東問我，“您看瑪格麗特怎么樣？” “她是一個天仙，我真給她迷住了�！� “我早料到了，這話您跟她說了嗎？” “說了�！� “那么她說過她相信您的話嗎？” “沒有說。” “普律當絲可不一樣。” “普律當絲答應您了嗎？” “不僅是答應，我親愛的！您簡直不會相信，她還有趣得很哪，這個胖迪韋爾諾瓦！”
